Thursday, May 6, 2010

How It Started

I love my neighbors. I do. They are the type of neighbors who would cut your lawn while you’re away and feed your cat. They would lend you sugar and bring you a pie, and cookies, apple turnovers, cupcakes and muffins until you gained 10 lbs and then they would close the deal with popovers. Oh, yes I have a neighbor who has made me her fat project.

This neighbor is also a friend so we talk often. I know that she exercises a lot. She’s the type who will ask you to watch her kid so she can go exercise. Good for her. She’s also thin. Pretty damn thin. Once when I was 8.75 months pregnant she complained to me that she gained 3lbs. T-h-r-e-e-e-e. But here’s the catch, she loves to bake. Conundrum right? So what does she do? She bakes and eats a tiny bit of whatever it is and brings me the rest. Sure it sounds innocent enough. Who doesn’t like to get baked goods? Until I started noticing a pattern. I will mention to her that “I’m going to cut down on sugar” or say that I’m going to start exercising and the next thing you know I have snicker doodles by the boatload showing up the NEXT DAY. Really, I have played this game. If I’m in the mood for baked goods all I have to do is tell her that I’m cutting them down and they will show up in the next 48 hours.

Well it’s my problem for eating them right? Yes, I get that. She is also very crafty on how she gets me to eat them. She will often not just drop them off and say enjoy. She will hand me the 4lb plate of stacked goods and say “Can you try one now and tell me what you think?” See? So one day I thought, two can play this game. This was the start of my twitter rant #FatProjectReverse.

So #FatProjectReverse started with just an idea that maybe I could make something extra fattening for her like fried cheesecake. Then the suggestions came rolling in from all over and an experiment was born. I woke up today with a feeling that today was the day, I could not have been more right.

13 comments:

  1. This is awesome! Can't wait to read what happens!

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  2. I am SO ridiculously excited to see how this goes. I hope there are pictures.

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  3. I have a friend like that.... the minute you say you want to work out more she turns up at your workplace with cake. No cake every other freaking day when cake seems like a good idea. Just cake when you mention you want to get thinner...

    Go get that neighbour of yours. I'm already inspired by you to start my own #fatprojectreverse

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  4. You are so insanely funny. I love this whole concept. Can't wait to read more!

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  5. nothign passive aggressive about that. Not a thing. nope

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  6. What's the nextdoor equivalent to "frenemy" - neighnemy?

    Yeah, that's her - a neighnemy.

    She must be stopped. Can't wait to see how you do it - bwahhahhaaaa.

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  7. im pretty sure you're a disturbed human being with tendencies leaning towards the cruel & demeaning.

    HEY THAT FUCKING RHYMED WOOOOOOOO!

    #lard4life

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  8. Hi @TheNextMartha - This was the first I came across:
    Brown Sugar Drops
    1 c shortening
    2 c packed brown sugar
    2 eggs
    1/2 c buttermilk or water
    3 1/2 c flour
    1 tsp soda
    1 tsp salt

    Mix shortening, sugar, & eggs thoroughly. Stir in buttermilk. Measure flour by dipping method or sifting. Stir flour soda & salt and add to sugar mixture. drop onto lightly greased baking sheet. bake at 400 for 8 - 10 min. from betty crocker's cooky book

    Will send more as I find them. I have lots of cook books (yet I really don't cook much)(@Ellachanted)

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  9. oh wow, I feel guilty for liking this. I've known women like this. let us know how it goes!

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  10. I'm really sad that I'm just now catching up on the meaning behind all of this. HILARIOUS. I love you.

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  11. Cheesy potato Casserole

    Melt one stick of butter in a large pot. Add 1/4 cup chopped onions and simmer. Once onions begin to brown add 2 cans of cream of chicken soup and stir. Add 3 cups of shredded cheddar cheese and mix until melted. Remove from heat and add 2 PINTS of sour cream. Add 2lbs of shredded potatoes slowly, and put the artery clogging, fat building mixture into a large casserole dish and just for shits and giggles, top with another cup of cheese. Bake at 350 for 70 minutes uncovered (as long as it's bubbly). Enjoy!

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  12. My sister used to by Entenman's Pop-ems and leave them in the break room. They were the things she found in the grocery store with the highest calorie, fat and trans fat content. My sister knew SHE wouldn't eat them because the women she couldn't stand (they were twins) never washed their hands after going to the bathroom. Once something was opened in the break room no one but those two would eat it.... and eat it they did.

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